New Blog!

Well I was all trying to be professional with having an editor, but that didn't turn out. But here's the new blog I am writing: http://lovesinglehood.blogspot.com/

It is under a fake name so don't be alarmed, but I haven't written anything recently because I'm trying to figure out life outside the dating world currently. ;)

General Conference!

Well I have this writer friend whose editing my new blog, so that's why it's taking awhile. But as I mentioned I'm LDS and live in Utah, so obviously I've been watching general conferance this weekend. Nothing to new stuck out on Saturday, except on talk on enduring trials and how to do that. Totally the usual tips I've always gotten and used in life.

But I actually really liked the talk today (Sunday) by Elder Uchdorf about gratitude amidst trials. I've actually been thinking along those lines alot lately, since when I think about how I hate being single then it's in for a depressing time. But usually when I think in thankful terms then life is alot better and I'm sure it's the same for alot of others as well.

So when all of you are thinking how guys and dating is majorly annoying then think it grateful terms and it might work. :)

'Being grateful in difficult circumstances is showing faith in God.' -President Uchdorf

New Blog!

Well the new blog will be here shortly and I almost forgot about it recently. Only because this guy I liked became pretty friendly in the last week or two, so of course I fell for it. But have thus realized that he's just like that and has many friends, so it didn't really mean anything. Although we've been acquainted for a few years now, so I am at least trying to think happy thoughts. That at least we're friends, I guess that is better then not being friends.

New blog coming soon!

I decided that I didn't like how this blog was heading, so I've started a new one. It's under a fake name though, so that it can get out more and not necessarily be known whose writing. Just a promoter for being positive while being in your 30's and single. So I'm still working on it, but I'll let you all know what the website address is when it's ready to be read. I'm not sure if anyone is even still reading this one, totally could have just been a first time read and that was it. So just in case anyone is still reading this blog there will be future information on the new blog, which is alot better then this one. :)

New Direction!

So I decided that I don't want to put off that I'm super negative about dating or anything. So this blog here is going to change directions a slight bit.

Fairly recently ago I was talking to one of my friends about dating and just so you all know it comes up alot with this particular friend. She's been married for quite awhile and is dying to line me up with someone or at least give me tips to getting a boy friend. Well she started telling me that I really need to wear more makeup, because that what gets guys to notice you more. So I explained that I do wear makeup when I need to, but she kept trying to tell me that I need to wear more makeup then what I was. Well I think it's ridicules to change how you are just to impress guys who most likely won't notice anyways. And so I didn't pay much attention to it, although I was a bit disturbed that you've got to put on this fake look to impress guys.  Or disturbed at least that girls think that they've got to put on a fake appearance anyways.

So if any of you who have come to this conclusion then I'm just here to say that makeup isn't everything. I do actually know guys who have told me that they don't care about makeup, although they're married guys of course. But I agree with these guys about that, just because outward appearance shouldn't be what a relationship is built off of in the first place. Yeah it probably matters somewhat, but if you've got guys who want to date you just for that then are they really the guys you want to be dating anyways?

So about a year or so ago one of my roommates was taking pictures for a photo class. Well all of us in the apartment got designated to be in her pictures. So of course I had to get all filled up with makeup and what not. Well we took the pictures and then I had to run over to an institute activity, which was a fun activity. But suddenly all these random, super young guys started trying to talk to me. I mean it wasn't terrible that they were talking to me, but it seemed like if I hadn't of been dressed up for the photo shoot then they wouldn't have acted all interested.

But my main point is that we all need to keep in mind as single girls that although the world says 'wear makeup and that's what will get you married' that isn't exacally true. Maybe it works a little, but makeup isn't going to buy you happiness. It's not going to get you where you want, because if that's not who you are then isn't it more of a fake appearance?

Anyways the happy thought of the day is that at least rent is lower when your single. ;) Yeah I was at my parents house yesterday and my brothers fiancee was telling us how the lowest they've found on rent is $1200.00/month. Yeah and to think that I pay $300.00/month on rent, all because I'm single. ;)

I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be a Charlotte Lucus!

I had someone mention to me a few months ago that they thought that they'd end up like Charlotte Lucus from Pride and Prejudice. She's the friend of Elizabeth who married Mr. Collins, who was the cousin of Elizabeth. He had a lot of money and was really just out to get married, so when Elizabeth said no at his proposal he went and found Charlotte. Well sadly Charlotte said 'yes' to his proposal, but it seemed like it was just because she thought that she'd never get another chance. So she married Mr. Collins and later when Elizabeth was visiting her it became very obvious that she only married to be with someone who was well off. (and she didn't want to remain single forever)






Well when I first had this friend mention this I totally disagreed with her and told her that we'd both end up married in the near future. As of this week when I found out my brother was engaged and I realized that my former crush isn't about to do anything but hangout/flirt I really started thinking. And my overall thought was: 'I'm going to be like Charlotte Lucus or remain single forever.' Neither one is a pleasant thought, since who really wants to marry someone you can't be happy with or remain single forever? So it's pretty rough and hopefully it's not true but it's not very hopeful on those terrible awkward dates.






Recently I've been watching the 1995 Pride and Prejudice and Mr. Collins totally reminds me of a date from last summer. I am living in a college town, so during the summer we combine wards in the stake. Well this guy ended up in the ward that was combining with us and I just happened to say 'hi' to him at fhe. Suddenly whenever I saw him at church he wanted to talk and shortly thereafter he asked me on a date. Well I could see from past conversations that he wasn't my type, so I didn't really want to go. But of course went just to be nice, well we were on this date and the guy started telling me about his former girl friend. (it was obvious he still liked the girl) Well later he wanted to do a 2nd date, but he wanted me to meet part of his family. So that is when I finally just told him it was over and I wasn't dating him. But I think every once in awhile how maybe I should have kept dating him, although I usually conclude that it couldn't have ended good. So it's okay that I didn't keep dating him, but it's hard when those are the only guys who will ask you on dates.






This is another reason why I hate dating, just the fact that the guys you'd like to date won't date. And so you are either stuck with the Mr. Collin type or you are forced to ask the other guys on dates. So to all of you who are in a similar situation to me: what is your take on asking guys on dates? I really hate doing it, but do you all think it's ideal or doesn't work because the guys don't take it seriously when they're not the ones asking?






Anyways the good thought I'm ending with is that at least we have Pride and Prejudice to relate to during this icky time of dating. Because we all know that we could be like Charlotte, but did it really end good for her? Since I would say the answer is no then at least we can all think about it and figure out who we really hate in the guy world. And might possibly realize that is the Mr. Darcy in life. So the real trick is to figuring out how to find and connect with our Mr. Darcy. Thanks Jane Austen for a great book/movie! (of course I watch the movies vs reading the books)

Valentine's Day!

I am a single female whose age 30 and I really didn't have a problem with being single until I was about 28. Then I started becoming concerned when all my siblings were disappearing to marriage and I never could even get a decent date. So I was really happy when I met a guy at Institute who was really nice and we hit it off really well. We had similar majors and liked singing, so we were in choir together. Well I ended up in the same lds ward with this guy and found out that he only hangs out. So really I was just someone for him to hangout/talk to, but it was nothing more then that. Honestly that's when I started really hating the whole dating game. Somehow it works for most people but it never has worked for me. So I decided to start this blog, because I think that there are a lot of other people out there who are over 25 as well who have problems with dating. I thought that I could share experiences and all of you who would like can join in. So maybe we can help each other out from being to upset about our terrible dates or lack of dates. Note: Just so everyone is aware I'm not an extremely good writer, so don't be surprised if this isn't perfect writing.




My first post is about Valentines Day as you will see when you continue reading:




As you all know it was Valentine's Day recently and actually it turned out to be a pretty decent one. There was a semi LDS stake dance going on that night, but I totally wasn't about to attend that. Since you know how dances can be? Either you stand around bored while everyone else dances and if lucky get asked to dance on a slow dance. Or you join the dancing but you have to make up your own moves just because the music at dances these days are crazy. Well I decided not to go to avoid all of that and went to a movie party at a friends apartment. The party turned out to be really fun and it was really just a chick flick/eat valentine candy night. Then I joined some roommates and we did a little service in the neighborhood.


Overall it was a great Valentine's Day, but it was the post Valentine's Day that was crappy. The Stake decided to have a Valentine dance in place of FHE and I totally 100% was not going to attend. Well roommates were going and at the last second I remembered that I'd told my friend who was on the Stake activities committee that I'd attend. So I decided to go long enough to get free food and to say 'Hi'!. Well I got there and one of the girls in my ward was there just to hang out with some friends, but not enjoying the dance. So I ended up talking to her and the dance that I was planning to leave quickly from turned into a dance that I stayed at. Worst mistake of my life, because this guy that I was really into last year (and kind of still like) showed up. Well we're totally friends and so it should have been fine, but he started flirting with my friends that I was hanging out with. Totally ignored me and got one of the girls to dance with him. The other girl walked out for some reason or another as well and I wasn't planning to stick around for this. So I left as quickly as I could, but the damage was done and I was depressed the rest of the night at my apartment. (and usually I don't get depressed very easily)


This is why I hate dating, because when you get past 25 you run into guys who either 1. just want to hangout and flirt 2. or they want to date but go about it awkwardly. So you would think the week would have gotten better but first off I found out that our relief society 2nd counselor got engaged. (I'm the 1st counselor so I know her pretty good) Then just tonight I found out that my 19 year old brother is engaged, so I can't help but think 'how do all these people date and have it work out so well?' I don't understand why I can't ever get past the 1st or 2nd date. It's really frustrating I think because of being in Utah and everyone is married before 25. So once your over 25 you think you've got to get married, which leads to dating anyone who'll ask. But usually the guys who are the ideal ones to date are gone and married, so your left with either 1. the young ones 2. the awkward ones. I also have a hard time with being single over 25 in Utah because when I heard my brother was engaged I instantly thought 'I've got to get a boy friend soon.' Because the truth is that this brother who is engaged is my youngest brother and I'm officially the last one in the family to be single. So if I'm not careful the whole family will be trying to line me up on blind dates all the time. And the absolute worst dates are the blind dates, yeah in fact I have to do one of those next week. :)




Well my point is that dating sucks and gets worse the older you get. So good job to those who have it work for them, but it sure stinks for the rest of us.




I hate to end on a bad note, so every post that I make will have something good at the end.


So the good thing about being single is that you can do whatever you want all the time! My favorite is staying up late and sleeping in on the weekends. :) What's your favorite thing about being single?